For Me

I've been thinking. (Boy does Drew hate it when I start a sentence with those words!)

It came to me as I was squeezing myself into a pair of jeans that used to be quite loose. There's not much I do that's just for me anymore. A natural consequence of life as a working mom. A life I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. In fact, I feel abundantly blessed every single day. But treating myself to a few things that are just for me doesn't make me any less of an employee, wife or mom. In fact, I would argue just the opposite.

I used to be better about me time. I did yoga. I read books. I shopped. I had a monthly girls night out with two very dear friends. And while the girls' night still happens (as often as our schedules allow) the yoga, the books and everything else have fallen victim to a busy life - and a pile of excuses.

That's about to change.

In 2 weeks I am going on a 9-day business trip. It's our biggest event of the year and has our entire staff working our tails off. Right now, it's all I can do to keep my head above water. But there is an end in sight. I get home on February 8th. And when I do I'm going to get back to doing a few things just for me.

1. I'm going back to yoga class. I love it. I miss it. I never felt better physically or mentally then when I was faithful about attending yoga class. I hate that I let work serve as an excuse to gradually quit going. I'm going back. (And those jeans are going to be loose again!)

2. I bought a netbook. E-mail, web surfing, and especially blogging are stress relievers for me. Because we currently have just a desktop computer, any time I want to do the above I have to sit in our office. That's not necessarily a bad thing. I always wait until Jackson is napping or asleep for the night before plopping myself in front of the computer. But at times I feel a little guilty that I'm "hiding" in the office while Drew is downstairs. I'm very much looking forward to having a portable computer so we can at least be in the same room while he is watching TV and I'm on the web.

3. I received 3 new magazine subscriptions. They were Christmas gifts and I am loving every one of them. I recognize that I'm in a phase in my life right now where burying myself into a novel for an entire weekend just isn't feasible. But I do have 30 minute chunks here and there. And magazines are perfect for that. (If you're interested, my new magazines are Real Simple, Everyday Food and Food Network Magazine. I highly recommend every one. And would love your recommendations as well if you have other favorites.)

4. I'm hiring a cleaning lady. I struggled with this one. We can't afford a bi-weekly (which seems to be the standard) or even monthly visit. And frankly, even considering it felt a little lazy overindulgent. But the more I thought about it (and also thanks to some sound advice from, who else, my mom) I've decided to go for it. My house is far from messy. It's not even all that dirty. But I surface clean. I just don't have time to do the deep cleaning - the showers, base boards, wood blinds, ceiling fans. I can't tell you the relief I will feel knowing that those things are being done (and done well) at least quarterly. Maintaining it in the meantime will not be nearly as daunting. Besides, it's not like I'll be off getting pedicures while someone else is cleaning my house (lovely as that might sound!) I'm a working mom. My time with Jackson is limited enough the way it is. I certainly don't want to waste my weekends cleaning or fretting that the house is dirty when I could, and should, be spending time with my son.

Wow. I feel refreshed just typing my "me list"!

So often, mothers put everyone else's needs ahead of their own. I know my mom did. And while that is an admirable thing, I also believe that if you take care of yourself first you will in turn have more to give to others. So that's what I'm going to do.

For me.