The Chore Board

There's a new addition to Jackson's room.  It hangs at his level right at the foot of his bed.

We call it:  The Chore Board.

It all started with bedtime - which has once again become a war of wills.  We have a very consistent bedtime routine which ends with stories and me laying down with Jack as he drifts off to sleep.  I've created this monster, I fully admit, as I've given in to his big blue eyes and pleas to "lay wiff me, mommy" since, well, forever.  And if I'm being honest, I do it for selfish reasons as well.  It's in those few minutes of bedtime cuddles each night that I can pretend he's still just a baby instead of the fast-paced, talkative, witty and rambunctious little boy that he is.  So I lay with him.  The problem is that when I leave, if he is not already asleep, he follows me out the door and so begins the sometimes hours long battle of getting him back to bed.  It's a lose-lose.  Jack wakes up tired and cranky the next morning.  Drew & I go to bed frustrated and annoyed after battling with a stubborn child all night and getting zero adult-only time to get things done or just have a conversation.

We've tried reasoning.  We've tried tough love.  We've tried threats.  We've tried bribery. 

Then I remembered the chore board.

My cousin Robin purchased the Melissa and Doug Responsibility Chart for her son while our family was vacationing at Lake Okoboji a couple of summers ago.  Jack was too young for one at the time, but I thought it was an awesome tool and made a mental note.  Just a few months later I happened across one on super sale at TJ Maxx, bought it and stashed it away in the closet. 

Drew & I decided this was a perfect opportunity to try it out.  The plan:  use positive reinforcement for having a successful bedtime (Jack gets to put a smiley face on the board - yay!) followed by a reward for reaching a predefined goal (if he earns a specific number of faces he gets a special treat - yay!).

We let Jack pick out a spot in his room for it and made a big deal about hanging up his chore board.  As we were putting it together, we realized that many of the "chores" were things Jackson is already doing so we added them too. 

Rather than being about bedtime only, it gave him a chance to earn some smiley faces for doing other tasks.  More smiley faces = more positive reinforcement.  Good plan, right?

Guess what?  It worked!

Sort of.

He LOVES putting smiley faces on the board.  He even asks to feed Ruby and take out the trash so that he can earn a smiley face.  Unfortunately, the row that represented going to bed and staying in his room all night - you know, the entire reason we started the chore board -  looked like this:

We strategically set the target number (which would earn Jack a "special treat") so that at least one bedtime smiley face would be required.  During week 1 of this little experiment he didn't have enough.

We just finished week 2 and I'm happy to say, he did it!  He started slow in the bedtime category, but finished strong on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  Victory!!

Of course, we made good on our promise.  This time, his reward was a trip to Target where he could pick out any toy in the entire store.  Thankfully, he's too young to truly appreciate the freedom he had!  He didn't go for a new bike or a flat screen TV.  He chose this:

The jury is still out as to whether the success will continue.  And we definitely need to make some adjustments along the way - for example, he is certainly not going to have free reign of Target every single week should he meet his goal.  But we wanted the first "victory" to be a memorable one and hope to carry the momentum forward.

So that's the story of Jackson's special treat that I eluded to in Sunday's post.  How about you:  any other bedtime struggles with preschool-aged children or tricks of the trade for getting positive results?  We're sure crossing our fingers for continued success.