How Monkeys Got My Kid To Sleep In His Own Bed

Ahhh, bedtime.  It's been an ongoing struggle with Jackson since, well, birth.  And an issue that has been well documented on the Elser 411.  It seems like we've tried everything. 

Most recently, his routine has been to sleep in his beloved spider man sleeping bag on his bedroom floor, which has gradually become the hallway outside his bedroom door.  We let it go.  After all, he was going to bed on his own and staying asleep all night.  That's a win, right?  But then Drew headed to Colorado and I allowed Jack to sleep with me (for my sake as much as his if I've being honest).  Fearing I was traveling down a path that would be awfully hard to undo I was determined to nip this thing in the bud once and for all.

So I turned to google.

In my research, I read about a token method.  It's much like the more traditional sticker chart, but there are some key differences that I loved.  With the token method, your child can earn tokens for a variety of tasks or behaviors - some of which are worth more tokens than others.  This allows for more opportunity for the child to earn tokens and more opportunity for you to use positive reinforcement.  For example, Jack earns 3 tokens for sleeping in his own bed all night long.  If he leaves his room at any point in the night, rather just denying him his three tokens I can offer him one token for returning to bed promptly without arguing.  It immediately turns a negative situation into a positive one.  The best part is that the power of the tokens lies with the child.  They can be cashed in at any time for some agreed upon rewards.  Rewards such as staying up 15 minutes later, additional TV or iPad time, extra stories at bedtime, a special dessert and on rare and extreme cases a small toy or trinket.  Of course, you tailor the rewards to things that are important to your child and assign values based on the size of the reward.

Jack and I discussed this new method for several days (I wanted to be sure he had a clear understanding of the rules and expectations) and then scheduled a special trip to Target to buy supplies.  In our case it was a silver bucket that Jack decorated with transformer stickers from the Dollar Spot (all picked out by him).

I intended on buying poker chips to use as tokens but in the end we decided on a Barrel of Monkeys (Jack chose blue).  Mostly because they were cheap and readily available, but also because they're cute, fun and appropriate for Jack since I've lovingly called him "Monkey" since birth.

Long story short, we are now 10 days into our token method and Jackson has slept in his own bed all night long every single night.  That's not to say we haven't had some more challenging nights than others, but the end result has been the same.  He absolutely treasures those monkeys.  He also doesn't hesitate to cash them in.  In fact, his most requested reward is extra stories at bedtime.  So much better than bribing him with sweet treats or unnecessary toys!

While this whole project started with bedtime in mind, the added benefit is that is has provided me another way to reward Jack for his help around the house.  With Drew gone, Jack is the primary dog feeder and is a great helper in taking out the trash.  He also has his own chores (make his bed, rinse out his sink after he brushes his teeth, pick up after himself, etc.) as we work together to keep the house clean and show-ready while it is on the market.  I'm asking more of him during this transitional phase and I'm thrilled to be able to reward him for his efforts.  Especially because in this case, the rewards are rarely about buying something or collecting more junk stuff.

I'm not ready to declare it a resounding success quite yet.  It's only been 10 days after all.  But we've made huge strides for sure.  I also think the timing was right. We are in the midst of lots of change right now.  Maybe in some ways that makes this adjustment a little easier for Jack.  Also, I have the time and patience to be extremely diligent about the processes right now.  And frankly, I think he is finally ready.  He just needed a little boost to prove it to himself.

So there you have it.  How monkeys got my kid to sleep in his own bed!