I've never been one to shy away from making a decision. In fact, being a bit of a control freak (yes - I will even admit it), I tend to prefer to be the decision maker. I've got plans in place for scenarios that haven't even presented themselves yet! Where did that girl go? I want her back!
Weather and schedules permitting, Drew & I will be getting our house painted this week. Our contractor, Javier, is going to repair some trim and siding that is looking a bit "soft", paint the entire exterior, design and build a new railing for the front entrance, replace the exterior light fixtures and install a new storm door. Exciting stuff...it will be like a whole new house! Only instead of being excited I am totally overwhelmed by all of these decisions! So overwhelmed, yesterday I had to call in reinforcements and have my friend Laura come over and bail me out of my paint chip panic.
A few weeks ago, I thought we had it all figured out. We have red brick on the front of the house that I'm not a huge fan of, so I want to compliment the brick without drawing any extra attention to it. I settled on a greenish-gray body color with black shutters. The new hand railing will be wood, but the balusters a black iron - adding a contemporary look to our front entrance. I'll pick out black light fixtures and house numbers to complete the transformation. Our painter prefers to use Sherwin-Williams paint, which is fine with us, so I just needed to browse the local store and find the right shade.
Yesterday, on my 2nd trip to Sherwin-Williams this week, the gentlemen behind the counter informed me that the color combination I was looking at would result in my house looking like a dark blob. Seriously. He said the words dark blob. Instead of being the confident (perhaps even slightly opinionated) woman I usually am, this comment sent me into an absolute tizzy. Mr. Sherwin-Williams was suggesting bronze accents and all kinds of combinations I had never even considered - nor did I particularly care for. (Bronze accents with red brick?) And if we went bronze, that meant my whole railing, light fixture, house number plan was out the window too! I was now doubting the entire project and was all but ready to call Javier and cancel the whole thing. (In case you're wondering...my husband was on the golf course during my meltdown and upon his return home only said he had no opinion and whatever color I chose was fine. While I appreciate his need to remain neutral in my current state, that answer did not help!)
As I said, Laura came to the rescue. She made it to my house in under 30 minutes and we ultimately decided that my original plan was a good one. I simply needed to tone the body color down by a shade or two. That would give me enough contrast to stick with the black accents and all would be fine. I went back to Sherwin-Williams (trip #3), got one more sample, slapped it on the back of the house and I think we have our winner.
I'm still not 100% sure I've got it right, but to be honest I'm tired of thinking about it.
Which leads me to my conclusion. Pregnant women should not be required to make decisions. Particularly decisions that cost several thousands of dollars and are supposed to last 10+ years. 3 months ago I would have loved this project. Today, it does nothing but cause me grief and self doubt. Mom, Deb, Abby...please tell me this is merely a temporary hormonal thing and the old me will be back. Soon!!
3 comments:
Well, to be honest, some of it will come back. I believe it has some to do with hormones and some to do with the overwhelming number of decisions a mom (new or otherwise) has to make for their child. It's not even the number you have to make immediately... it's the looming ones too. Plus, when it comes to children, all decisions seem like ones that are life and death (i.e. if I don't choose correctly, he'll wind up a serial killer who blames me when on trial). Therefore, when it comes to a decision that used to seem simple (paint colors, dinner menu, etc.), I just can't do it. It has gotten so bad around here that I told Adrian that for my 30th birthday I just didn't want to have to decide ANYTHING for a full 24 hours.
I don't want to scare you, but it really does just get to the point where control freaks (I am one as well) just have to learn to let some go. This has definitely been one of the hardest transitions I have made into mommyhood... that and the inability to fully control the schedule. (I can only encourage schedules now.) But this is where a hubby comes in so handy because dads are definitely more laid back and, dare I say it, realistic about things.
So, to conclude because I've rambled long enough, get ready because motherhood is a wild ride that you will love every minute of.
Yes, it is a semi-temporary hormone thing and it will go away.
I also agree with Abby that your decisions will be prioritized ...baby first and everything else will take a back seat.
I think you made a great "decision" to call your friend.
I can't wait to see the finished project.
Deb
Heidi,
I think you are being a little to hard on yourself. The paint color decision was one that was just out of your comfort zone, and therefore
your struggled with it. You did the right thing calling in Laura and getting another opinion. Now if this would of been a decision about planning a party or decorating the inside of your home(things in your comfort zone) I'm very certain you would have had no trouble with your chooses. Paint colors on your house is a hard thing to visualize and pregnant or not I think you would of struggled with this one.
Now decision about your child will be a whole different story. Its one of the most important job in the world, raising children, and there is no manual to help you out with your decisions and the consequences are huge. I'm very confident that you and Drew will make great parents, and will always make decisions that will be in the best interest of your child (just so the two of you agree on those decisons, that where it gets a little tricky) You and Drew will rock as parents and that little one is going to be a very lucky little child!!!!!!!!
Love Mom
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