Poop, Puke, and More Poop

Knowing that I have an infant at home, one would assume by the title of this post that I was about to write about the latest diaper disaster. Oh no. This time, the culprit is the Laboradiva.

It warmed up a bit yesterday. Enough to let Ruby outside for a good chunk of time to enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. After about 2 hours I heard her at the door and let her inside. With an infant in my arms, I didn't pay much attention, I just opened the door and went on with my business. About 5 minutes later I was heading down the stairs and was sure I smelled dog poop. Strange. Ruby has never pooped in our house. Not once. I went looking for her and immediately saw that her front legs and scruff of her neck were speckled with brown dog poop. Horrified, I threw her back outside until I had time to deal with her mess. Eventually, I was able to occupy Jackson in his bouncy seat, filled up a bucket of soapy water (too cold to run the hose outside) and cleaned up the dog. Now clean, I reluctantly let her in and Jack and I headed back to his room to play.

Not 20 minutes later Drew came home and shouted "What the Hell"! Turns out, Ruby had thrown up (I'll spare you the details of the contents of this pile of puke) right at the top of the stairs. Gross doesn't even come close. I'm gagging right now just thinking of it. Unfortunately, that wasn't the only pile of puke...we found another one near the front door. At least she had the decency to throw up on linoleum that time.

Neither of us could quite figure out exactly what she had gotten into. I mean, is she really so stupid to eat and roll in her own poop? The Laboradiva? The dog that will only walk in the rain under an umbrella?

This morning, we believe we solved the mystery. I discovered that the gate in the back yard was unlatched and we found her at a neighbor's house. There are 2 dogs that live behind us and we think she escaped yesterday to go over and play. The poop, we believe, was theirs. And yes, she must have been stupid enough to eat and roll around in another dog's poop. Disgusting.

We scrubbed and disinfected our carpet and linoleum for an entire hour last night. I am still certain I smell dog poop. So today we will be renting a rug doctor and deep cleaning our carpets. I will also disinfect the entire house (again) and light every candle I own. Fortunately, it's supposed to be near 70 degrees today so we may even be able to open the windows and air things out a bit.

As we were knee deep in this disaster last night, I told Drew that I know kids do disgusting things. And I know we will have lots of poop and puke incidents courtesy of Jackson in our future. But I can't imagine anything coming even close to as disgusting as this was.

And who would have guessed the guilty party was the sweet little Laboradiva?

PS - Ruby now has an appointment at the spa on Tuesday for a full wash, style and pedicure.